Phantom Nights “Night Six”

The picture is edited by me @rawadalzahabi.

Your smile did not disappear from my mind not for a moment. When you used to walk in, smiling, raising up your hand, and saying “Good morning.” That smile was enough to make my whole day beautiful, when it used to be so damn horrible. Coming to our work place, waiting for you to come, was my first job everyday. Keep looking through the window, watching the empty streets, looking only for you. And once you started showing up from afar, walking; a huge smile used to drop on my face, but I never showed it to you. Passing next to my desk, with your soap smelling clothes, and your organized hair. These moments were one of the best moments ever back in that awful year.

That night, I was thinking of quitting the work. “I’m not coming to work anymore. This is my last day here.” I said in pain. “Don’t do this. These things always happen.” You said. “No.” I said in pain, moving my head with my teary eyes. “We all will be missing you.” You said. I looked at you, and asked, “Do you want me to come?” You posed for a second, then said, “If you come after 3 days, you will hear the answer to this question.” I looked at you with no words. I really wanted to hear the yes word from you, but I don’t know why you didn’t say it. Few seconds later, you said, “Go wash your face now, because it’s still showing that you were crying.” Then you pointed at my parents who were sitting outside. I took a deep breath, and moved my head (Yes). Then I left.

3 days passed, and I didn’t show up after then. The reason for these 3 days was because I had to leave my work for a personal occasion, and in fact it wasn’t an occasion, it was a punishment in my perspective. But I had no other choice other than going to it. So, I was supposed to come back to work after these 3 days, but due to what happened that night, I was thinking of quitting the work. But I won’t lie, you made me feel curious to know what your answer was supposed to be. Anyway, my personal occasion unfortunately lasted for 15 days, and I never got the chance to go to work. And for me, seeing you was way better than seeing the people on the occasion. On the 16th day, I finally came back. I was so excited. Your face reaction when you saw me showing back again, never left my memory for even a second. I can see it even now, when I’m writing this. You were smiling like a little kid, Then you said, “You’re back!” I smiled at you, saying, “I’m back.”

On the night of that day, our work place was empty and there were no customers. You were sitting back there, behind the computer, choosing a song to play on the radio. I was sitting on the chair in front of my desk, looking at you. Few seconds later, I went to you. I stood up in front of you, putting my arms on the desk that was behind the computer, and looked at you smiling, asking, “So, you don’t want to know what I did in these 15 days?” You smiled. I did this because I wanted to talk to you about anything. Like literally anything. Talking to you used to always make me feel better. Even though that personal occasion was dreadful and bad and wasn’t nice at all. But I showed you the opposite of that, because I wanted to. And I, without knowing your answer, started talking without stopping, telling you everything. You kept looking at me, and at the computer; you seemed like trying to find a song or something.

Few seconds later, you asked me to stop talking and to listen to the song. I didn’t stop because I was in an exciting part of the event, that now, I have no idea what it was. “Just, stop for a second, and listen to the song.” You said to me. “I know this song, just let me continue.” I replied. “Just for a second; don’t you like this singer, just listen to this part of the song, please.” I leaned my head, looked at you, and smiled, and started focusing on the part, looking at the wall. And while the part was playing, you were looking at me with no words. I looked at you for a second, you were staring at me. I turned back looking at the wall, trying to avoid eye contact with you. “This is what exactly happened to me when you were not here.” I looked back at you, making eye contact. “I mean, what happened to us, all, here.” You fixed your sentence.

The song was saying, “Everything in the days where you didn’t show up, I counted. Everything in the nights that I had dreams, I called you.” When you fixed your sentence after the song part, I smiled, shook my head in the meaning of (I understood), and continued explaining that ridiculous story from where I stopped. You were shocked by my reaction, and didn’t do a thing. Instead, you stayed quiet, smiled, and kept listening to me. Even though, if I was in your place, I would never listen, because of how boring the story was. I know that I never showed you how happy I felt at that moment, when you made me hear this part. But deep inside I was flying up from how happy I was.

I know that I knew this song, but for some reason I couldn’t remember its name. When I turned back home, it felt like someone deleted the part from my brain. I wanted to remember that part of the song so badly, but I couldn’t. A few hours later all of a sudden, I started remembering the music of it, but not the lyrics. And slowly, and word by word, the part that you made me listen to came back to my brain. I hurried up to my phone and wrote down the part, and the song’s name showed up. And I listened to every word that was in that song that night. Especially that part, that you made me hear; repeating it, again and again and smiling.

You know what? You were that rare person that was able to enter deep inside and see me as I was. My masks used to drop in front of you, when I never was that easy person. Probably because you came on the right time when I needed someone to be by my side. You never hurt me once. And the day you saw me crying and asked me if you were the reason behind my tears, I told you it’s because of all of you; meaning you and the others. But in fact, you never hurt me. I said this back then, because I really wasn’t okay, and you were not close enough to me. I really don’t remember what you did on that day that made me cry, but it wasn’t because of you. Back then, there were a lot of heavy things happening in my life that I couldn’t explain. And your existence was the only thing that used to make me feel alright.

So, thank you for the red rose that you wanted to pick for me when I told you not to because it will die. Thank you for the street corn that I never wanted to eat because of it getting stuck in my teeth, which I ended up eating with you, laughing like an idiot. Thank you for mentioning to me that your only dream is to buy a motorcycle and have the girl you love sitting behind you. Thank you for telling me that you wish me to sit eating, sharing my bread on the same table with you. Thank you for the delicious sandwich that you used to make for me when I used to be so hungry. Thank you for your tasty orange juice on every hot summer day. Thank you for the strawberry milkshake that you made for me when I came back that day. And thank you for last night; our goodbye night, when I ran away, and you ignored everyone and followed me, just because you were worried about me walking alone in the empty streets at a late time.

Pictures are taken from: Pinterest, Instagram.
Pictures Credits: @rawadalzahabi / @AHMADEDITS / @impossible_love / @MJCODEZ / @MAZE / @مريم جمال / @amahanna/ @salma_nj522 / unknown.

“If someone left your life, be sure that someone is about to arrive”

“Some people will leave you, but that is not the end of the story but the end of their role in your story!”

“Then what you wanted comes to you when you don’t want it anymore :)”

“There’s a weird moment in someone’s life, they don’t know how to explain it or even understand its secret ever, but this moment makes everything new in their coming life.”

“Is there anyone missing us? Maybe looking at the photos.. Looking in the places from the memory smell. Crying.. Smiling..”

“Even with all of the interior scratches that are in you, you’re still smiling, consoling, asking, caring, doing more and more for them, carrying about everyone’s feelings, being careful all the time to not make anyone notice what is exactly going on inside you. Do you still believe that you’re a normal person?”

“No one know that small moments that your soul died in.. and no one knows when did it back or how.. and no one knows why you’re smiling while you’re alone.. so stay strong just for yourself”

“Your need to be alone means, that you have a speech no one can understand”

“Things that go without you, don’t you dare and stand in front of them, don’t even make the slightest effort on getting back the things that chose not to come to you”

“When someone loses their expectations of someone they really wanted.. no one can give them back their reassurance about anything”

“Not everyone looking at you means they mean you, maybe they can see through you things from the past that are similar to you”

“I won’t tell you that I need you and won’t be honest with you, you won’t see me in pain anymore, we won’t ever fight, I will be so quiet to the way that makes you feel that I’m not existed, I’m trying to stay beside you in anyway, but you don’t understand it in the right way.. I was fighting for you until I found myself killed”

“I wanted to stay with you for always, but you leave me and never feel me, you ignore me and never hear me, you want to stay but you don’t tell me, you love me but you never talk to me, you want me but you never come to me”

“I still write about you although you’re no longer closest to my heart, but you’re the only one who touched it”

“I love your speech but don’t speak to you. Do you know what my contradiction is? I make myself forgot about you but mean you in my writings, I miss you but never let myself admitting it, I love your speech but don’t speak to you”

“The hardest type of waiting: To wait for someone you know won’t come.. Or wait for a call from someone you’re pretty sure they won’t call.. And even though you know the result, you are always still waiting.. Looking from your home’s window hoping them to come, looking at your phone’s screen hoping them to call”

“Hope you were nothing.. Hope I never saw you.. Hope days never made me know you”

“Most of the times admitting your love to someone, is a type of a suicide types”

“Hiding the longing is suffocation”

“It’s a very bad feeling when you stop talking to someone you daily got used to talk to”

“I know you’re getting my messages and it hurts me that you don’t care”

“What if we were two hands in a watch?! I meet you and hug you, then stand counting seconds to meet you again after sixty seconds separation”

“There are some people when you meet them you feel like you’ve met yourself”

“My heart stands in everything and falls for you”

“Life narrows me, but your laughter widens me”

“He was the only person that I don’t make up excuses with, don’t pretend my happiness, don’t write my words, don’t feel bored, and don’t count minutes to run away from”

“Since you started talking to me for the first time, and I wanted to say can you stay forever”

“I was always honest, I didn’t make up any of those words that I used to tell you spontaneously, everything came out of my mouth, I felt it in my chest.”

“I don’t care to be the first page.. but to be the section that you remember the whole book for.”

“Perhaps the one who left you, created an opportunity for a thousand people who would like to buy your laugh”

“And he replied saying: From your heart’s side I came, an old friend.”

“Revelation may spoil the story as long as lovers don’t say what they really mean no matter how they express it.”

“Do you know what I want? I just want to live through my day
Then come to you to tell you about it at night.”

“You are killed by anyone you love, so choose for yourself in passion who you want.”

For the next category in my website, please visit this link Painful Moments

Phantom Nights “Night Five”

The picture is edited by me @rawadalzahabi.
Resim tarafımca düzenlenmiştir @rawadalzahabi.

I was sitting on my desk that night, my face was not looking good. You were looking at me from a distance, putting your chin on the top of your arm on the table and just staring with no words. Your look on that night never left my memory. Few seconds later, you asked me, “What’s wrong with you?” I looked at you and smiled a sad smile, saying, “Nothing.” Then I turned my face to close the conversation with you. But you did not. “You’re not okay!” You said. I turned my face back again at you without saying a word. “It’s clear.” You continued. Then I smiled saying, “There’s nothing, really, thank you for asking.” You didn’t insist, but you just spent your time sitting, looking at me.

Then one day, I wasn’t around. You started looking for me. You were the only one who realized my disappearance. On that day, I really needed to stay alone, crying for hours. Then the back door came to your mind; where you used to sit alone, and I used to come and annoy you, just to have a conversation with you. You came slowly and saw me sitting on the chair hiding my face and crying. You came and asked me, “Why are you crying?” I kept crying and ignored you. Then you asked again, “Are you crying because of me? Huh? Just answer me.” I raised my face, looking at you with no words. Your look was so decent. You leaned your head and said, “Are you crying because of me?” “I’m crying because of everyone in here, everything.” You posed for a second, then approached and said, “Is it me? I would never forgive myself if I made a girl cry because of me.” I didn’t answer you, and continued crying. You stayed for a second and left.

I wasn’t expecting you to leave. I looked behind, you actually left. I cried more. Few minutes later, you came to me with an orange juice glass, and put it next to me and said, “I made it for you to change your mood. I know you like it, when I make it for you.” I looked at the glass and smiled so deep inside, but I didn’t show it to you. The glass was so nice, yes I used to not only love it, I used to adore it. I still remember that thin piece of orange on the edge of the glass. You made it with love. It wasn’t just an orange juice glass. It was a meaningful gift filled with love and warmness. Then I looked at you with my teary eyes. You were smiling at me.

I didn’t say a word to you. It seemed to you like I said, thank you for feeling me. And you looked, smiling at me like, you’re welcome, then you left. I looked behind you when you left; in my entire life you were the first person who understood me, who felt me without even saying a word, who never insisted when I never wanted to talk. Deep inside me there was something saying, no, please don’t go, I want you to stay by my side. Just sit on the chair next to me. Just look at me, smile to me, you don’t have to talk, because you were the only person who used to talk to me using the silent language. But I couldn’t say it out loud, and if I went through this moment again, I won’t say it also.

Maybe it was good like this, without saying anything, without showing anything, without explaining anything, and without telling anything. It calmly, quietly, ended without even starting.

Pictures are taken from: Pinterest, Instagram.
Pictures Credits: @rawadalzahabi / @yinedesevdik / @lamakuru / @sigara_dumani_gibi / @ilksigaramsiin /@vesadecesevdik / @hayalgibiydik / @AHMET BATMAN / @SÖZDIYARI / @Baytumblr_ / @Şiirİstanbulda / unknown.
Resimler Pinterest, Instagramdan alınmıştır.
Resimler Kredi: @rawadalzahabi / @yinedesevdik / @lamakuru / @sigara_dumani_gibi / @ilksigaramsiin /@vesadecesevdik / @hayalgibiydik / @AHMET BATMAN / @SÖZDIYARI / @Baytumblr_ / @Şiirİstanbulda / bilinmeyen.

“Someone entered your mind… you changed.”

“Someone entered your mind, you changed.”

“There’s someone, their existence makes you forget all people around you”

“If you love, in my opinion go speak then…”

“I can’t imagine your smiling speech..”

Good night

“My heart saw your heart and liked it”

“From the first time I met you, I wanted to talk to you at night till 4 AM.”

“As you are in my heart, I’m ready to face everything.”

“Believe me, you’re different from everyone.”

“I turned my back to everyone, but you can hug me.”

“No matter how many years pass. let me hear your voice, see your face, I will fall in love with you like the first time.”

“A very sudden rain, in empty streets, you and I..”

“You were the one I looked and laughed, please understand it”

“You’re much beautiful than the Piano you’re sitting in front of”

“For example, I want something, putting my hands under my chin, watching you. For hours, for days, even for years.”

“I’m sitting, eating with the most sexy girl and I’m feeling terrible. Because five meters away there was Julie. My Julie was sitting with Edi. What was she laughing at? How is it possible to sit there, laugh and be that much beautiful.”

“I love how you stay in my mind while everyone is leaving.”

“Would you hug me, if you saw me now at the beginning of the street?”

“You’re here, then all around me it’s spring now.”

“You are the most beautiful memory that won’t be old inside me..”

“Don’t be sad my sweetheart, you looked, miracles have happened.”

“I want you to know that those who love with their hearts, cannot forget with their minds.”

“I can’t do anything, I love you.”

“Ohh, hope they can see how much I’m holding on to you..”

“I love you so much, I have no reason. Just because you. I love you because it’s you.”

“I can’t promise you a rose garden, but give me your hand and I’m okay with all the thrones.”

“My soul flows to her like rivers flow to the sea”

“The moon needs the night, and the night is in love with it…”

“You’re everywhere, but inside me the most.”

“She doesn’t have to be with you, she’s too much already in you.”

“The most beautiful feeling in the world… That a guy with a nice perfume smell comes and sits behind you in a public bus. I want time to stop at this moment.”


“One person was enough for another person in any way.”

“Even if not touched or not seen, some are included in the heart without any reason”

Cemal Sureya

“I need a hug, always your hug, only you”

“Because everything worth loving is actually gathered in you.”

“I love you, don’t forget this. And love is not enough to meet, also this one.”

“.. hug me. Hug me so I count all the days that I cried till this age as I lived them..”

“You don’t know, maybe if we hugged each other, we would never be cold.”

“You can’t hide sentences inside your pockets..”

“With time, a human starts looking like the one they loved.”

“I can’t send you a message saying I love you, but I can listen to a song that reminds me of you till the morning.””

“Even in the places that I’m running away from myself I’m looking for you.”

“You’re saying that that door is closed, but you kid, are keep looking through the hole..”

The little prince said: “but eyes are blind. Human needs to look with his heart..”

“If I were to be in two places at the same time, I would’ve been beside you right now.”

Chapter 100. I need you to say “I’m with you” when nothing is going well.

“I made it because you like it.” There is no such beautiful sentence pattern like this. He learned what you like and worked hard for you.

“A person can jump out of the window that she opened to take a breath..”

For phantom nights “night six”, please visit this link Phantom Nights

Phantom Nights “Night Four”

The picture is taken from: Pinterest. Credit: unknown.
Resim Pinterestten alınmıştır. Kredisi: bilinmiyor.

Belki gerçekte olmaz, belki hiç olmayacak, ama eminim ki hayallerimde olur.

Sen ordaydın, uzaktan bakıyordun, sınıfın köşesinde oturuyordun. Ben ilk koltukta oturup, profesörün açıklamasını dinliyordum. Bilmiyorum ne oldu ama ani bir şekilde arkama baktım, ve sen bana öyle bir bakıyordun ki, gerçekten o anda bana ne olduğunu bilemedim. Bişey hissettim öyle bir duyguydu ki, 12 yıl önce yaşadığım his gibi.

Senin yüzünü bir yerden tanıyormuşum gibi, ama çıkaramıyordum. Sende bir şey varmış gibiydi, sen de sanki beni birisine benzetiyordun ama emin değildin. Günler geçiyordu ve biz sessizce birbirimize bakıyorduk, bişey söylemek istiyormuşuz gibi ama her seferde vazgeçiyorduk.

Ama bir gün başım ağrıyordu, çok ağrıyordu. baş ağrısı haplarım da yoktu, bu yüzden hava almak için dışarıya çıktım. Başımı yukarıya kaldırıp, gözlerimi kapatarak derin bir nefes aldım, sonra gözlerimi açtım, ve bir anda önümde pamuk şeker gördüm. Aniden pamuk şeker sola doğru hareket etti, ve yüzünü ilk defa yakından gördüm.

“On iki yıl önce başın o kadar ağrıyordu ki, o gün baş ağrısı için hapların yoktu, sonra sana pamuk şeker aldım sakinleşirsin diye.” Dedi bana gülümseyerek. O anda hiç farketmeden gözlerim yaşlarla dolmaya başladı, senin yüzün, gülümsemen, bakışın, hepsi aynı, geri döndüğüne hiç inanamadım, hayal gibiydi. Gülümsedim, sonra alçak sesle, “Eğlence parkında?” Dedim, sen de başını hareket ettirdin evet anlamında, “Bassam hoca ile!” Dedin.

Öyle duyunca kalbimden güldüm sensin diye, sonra hiç düşünmeden sarıldım sana. Sen de böyle durup şaşırdın bir an, sonra öyle bir sıktın ki, senin kokun o kadar güzeldi ki, o anın bitmesini hiç istemedim. Gelişin hayatımda başıma gelen en güzel şeydi. Sonra ikimiz o pamuk şekeri yedik. Ha bu arada onu yedikten sonra baş ağrım geçti.

Maybe not in reality, maybe never, but I’m sure it will happen in my dreams.

You were there, looking from afar, sitting in the corner of the classroom. I was sitting in the first row, listening to the professor’s explanations. I don’t know what happened, but I suddenly looked back, and you were looking at me so much that I really didn’t know what was happening to me at that moment. I felt something, it was such a feeling, like the feeling that I had 12 years ago.

It was like I knew your face from somewhere, but I couldn’t figure it out. It seemed like there was something about you. And you were like seeing me looking like someone in your mind, but you weren’t sure. I turned my face back. And waited for the lecture to end. Days were passing and we were silently looking at each other, as if we wanted to say something, but giving up every time.

But one day I had a headache, it was very painful. I didn’t have any headache pills either, so I went outside to get some fresh air. Lifting my head up, closing my eyes, taking a deep breath. Then I opened my eyes, and suddenly, saw cotton candy in front of me. Then the cotton candy moved to the left, and I saw your face, so close for the first time.

“Twelve years ago you had such a strong headache, you didn’t have headache pills that day. So, I bought you cotton candy instead, to calm you down.” You said, smiling at me. At that moment, I smiled deeply. Your face, your smile, your look, all were the same. I could not believe that you were back, it was like a dream. And while smiling, I whispered to you, “At the amusement park?” You moved your head in the meaning of (Yes), and said, “With coach Bassam!”

When I heard that, I laughed from the depth of my heart because it was you. It really was you. Then I hugged you without thinking. You stood in a surprised way for a moment, having the two cotton candies in your both hands and worked on hugging me without making the cotton candy touch my back. I was able to drown deep in your smell. It was so good that I never wanted that moment to end.

Your presence in my life was the best thing that ever happened to me. By the way, I want to mention to you a thing, back then, before 12 years; my headache went away when I ate your cotton candy.

Pictures are taken from: Pinterest.
Pictures Credits: @rawadalzahabi / @yinedesevdik / unknown.
Resimler Pinterest, Instagramdan alınmıştır.
Resimler Kredi: @rawadalzahabi / @yinedesevdik / bilinmeyen.

“If you have a problem, let us solve it”

“Music; the only place we can run to…”

“Look how much do I care”

“I’m in the wrong city.”

“Until where?”

“Don’t you ever look back. If Cinderella went back to take her shoes, she could’ve never become a princess.”

-Marilyn Monroe

“Be like Galata. Sometimes no one sees you. It’s okay. Even if you’re not seen, stand upright. Same like Galata.”

“Don’t give up. Miracles are on their way.”

“Everything will be beautiful, isn’t it..”

“Sometimes coincidences are strong and beautiful enough to make human believe that everything is possible”

“Everything has a reason, wait…”

For phantom nights “night five”, please visit this link Phantom Nights

Phantom Nights “Night Three”

The picture is taken from: Pinterest. Credit: unknown.

Your day was so tough, everyone was rude to you, and you just looked through the window, hoping this horrible day would end so you go back home. Then when it was your time to leave, you opened your locker to grab all of your stuff, you found a small note that was saying, “You did not seem good today. Are you okay?” You looked around, wondering. Who was it? How did he feel about you? And why does he care if you were okay or not? You went back home, keeping this note beside your bed. Each time you think of crying, you look at that note and smile.

The next day came, and the following day, and no one was around you. That mysterious person did not show up at all. And one day, you left your home crying so hard. Then suddenly you received a message on your phone saying, “No matter what is going on with you, it will pass. But if you want to talk to someone, I’m here.” You wiped down your tears and started looking at the streets, but you failed to find him. You wanted to call him, but at the same time you had no idea who was him.

The next day, you found just a cute white rose on your desk with a small note saying, “Good morning :)” Before seeing these cute things, you were in tension; that you’re into another day, where you will be dealing with the same bad people. But his white rose and little note changed your entire mood. And an unbelievably happy smile started showing up on your face. You didn’t know who this mysterious guy was, while he was the only one who was feeling you deeply and was doing the things that you really were in need of.

Days passed, weeks, and you attended the school party. Everyone was looking elegant and beautiful and you too. You planned on going to the party with your best friend, but your best friend told you that she will be coming with her friend, and then you both will be meeting up in the party. You entered the ballroom and saw her standing, laughing with the guy that you used to tell her about. In a more specific way, the guy that you liked. You left the ballroom, sat outside on a chair, and wanted to cry.

Then a little kid approached you, and gave you a chocolate bar, with a small note, and said, “This is from him.” You took the bar confusingly, and wanted to ask the kid who is ‘him’. But the kid immediately left, and never gave you the chance to do so. Then you opened the little note reading, “They say that chocolates are the only thing that is able to change the whole mood. I used this remedy once, and it worked with me. Try it ;)” You started smiling with your puffy red eyes, then started eating it, while reading the note over and over again and smiling.

Deep inside you, you really wanted to know who this decent guy was. But at the same time, another side of you was saying no, just keep it like that. I don’t want to know you. I don’t want to know when, how or why. I don’t want to know any reason and anything. I want you to stay like this, because I really don’t want you to change from someone very close, to someone as far from my heart as the rest.

Pictures are taken from: Pinterest.
Pictures Credits: @Kena malon / unknown.

Pictures are taken from: Pinterest.
Pictures Credits: unknown.

Pictures are taken from: Pinterest.
Pictures Credits: @tamaraclaren / unknown.

For phantom nights “night four”, please visit this link Phantom Nights

Phantom Nights “Night Two”

The picture is taken from: Pinterest. Credit: unknown.

There was a night event in my college after we had our finals. I was getting ready for it and was standing in front of my closet, choosing which dress to wear. I was kind of confused between choosing a dress, or an elegant night lady suit. And after a long time of thinking, I decided to choose a skirt with a pullover. I did my hair with the blow dryer, put on my light makeup, wore my shoes, then left my house. I pulled my car keys, went inside the car, and drove it, playing its radio on one of my quiet playlist’s songs.

Few minutes after driving, I was nearly half way to reach the college, and all of a sudden my car started making some weird sounds. I stopped my car slowly aside, and went out to see what was wrong with it. And after checking everything in it, I realized that its engine just stopped, and won’t be able to work anymore. And the car needs someone to pull it for maintenance. I raised my head up to the sky, and sighed. It was a wrong time, a very wrong time. Few seconds later, my friend called me, asking where I had been, as she was waiting with the others for me to come. So, I made up my mind, and decided to not ruin the night just because my car’s engine has stopped.

I took the bus, heading to the college’s night event. I sat somewhere on the bus, and put my earphones on, and started looking through the window. 19 minutes later, I arrived at the night event. I saw my friends and everyone was having so much fun. Anyway, when the event ended, everyone started leaving, and I started thinking of my car, as the bus won’t be able to take me all the way back home. It will drop me off in the same place where I took it; far from my broken down car.

When I got into the bus, it was busy with all the college students that were in the event. I walked all the way to the end, and reached the penultimate seat on the bus. I sat next to the window, and put my earphones on, but didn’t play the music yet, I was choosing what song to play. Then you came, and sat next to me with your graceful perfume and elegant clothes. You were mad at something, saying, “You can’t do this to me tonight. You just can’t.” I looked at you, and posed for a while. You glanced at me then turned your face, then looked back again at me and posed too.

Throwing back to 12 years ago. When we all were in the camp, and returned from the trip back home. “Hey, the backseat is empty if you wanna sit with us.” My friends called me from the back. I stood on my knees on the seat, turning my face to them and said, “No, I’m okay. I’m actually feeling comfortable here.” They all were surprised by my answer, as I was so tempted to sit in the backseat at the beginning of the trip. Then you, who came to sit next to me by the end of the camp trip, said without no one asking you,“I’m feeling comfortable in my seat too.” They looked at you, surprised by your answer when no one asked you.

At that moment, I turned, and sat back in my seat, feeling a lot of things fluttering deep inside me; butterflies. It was the very first moment in my life to feel the butterflies. I looked at you, you looked at me and smiled. I still remember your smile, your face, your innocent features. Your face picture never disappeared from my mind. I had snacks on that day. I opened the potato chips and asked you, “You want some?” You looked at me and said, “No.” I moved my head and said to you, “Why do you keep saying no to all the snacks?” “I don’t like them.” Back then I did not believe how a person could not like snacks. But now, I finally can understand you. I looked at you, you just smiled at me.

Back to that college event night. We both were posing, looking at each other, with no words. Then, you smiled at me. Oh my god, that smile, that same innocent smile, just took me back 12 years before. “You?” I asked you. “You!” You said, while smiling, and all of your anger just disappeared. “Hey, dude, come sit with us, I thought you came with your car, I didn’t know that you would be taking the bus with us tonight.” My friend called me from the backseat. We both turned our faces to her. “No, I’m okay. I’m actually feeling comfortable here.” I said confidently. You looked at me and lowered down your face and started smiling so hard. I looked at you smiling too, biting my bottom lip. Then you raised your head and looked at my friend and said while smiling in a confident way, “I’m feeling comfortable in my seat too.” I burst out laughing. Then we both sat back with our faces smiling. My friend didn’t understand anything, and stayed quiet for a moment trying to figure out what was going on.

I looked at you smiling, then I pulled a chewing gum from my purse and asked you, “You want one?” You smiled, leaning your head aside a little bit, looking so cute, and said, “I think it was supposed to be potato chips.” I smiled, and said, “I stopped eating snacks for a long time.” “It’s way healthier, right?” “A lot.” I said while smiling. Then you took one from the chewing gum and said, “Thank you.” My smile started fading, and I kept watching you. You looked at me closely, then asked, “Can you feel them?” I smiled, and continued your sentence, “Fluttering!” “Flying all inside.” I shook my head (Yes). Then we both ate the chewing gum, and sat quietly in our seats. I put back my earphones inside my purse. You waited for me to sit quietly and stop moving. Few seconds later, you leaned your head, putting it on my right shoulder. The crazy butterflies just went up like they were about to get out of me. You were closing your eyes, smiling so hard, quietly. I was smelling your shampoo, closing my eyes.

The bus reached the place where my car was. But I missed it on purpose, because I can come back home everyday, but I don’t know when I will be able to spend this moment with the grown up kid who I was friends with 12 years ago, again. The bus got empty and everyone left and we were the only two left on the bus. The bus had reached the stop, and its path ended. I looked at your hair while you were asleep on my shoulder and smelled your shampoo again. The smell was so good, I couldn’t stop it. I closed my eyes, and the bus driver just ruined the moment, and shouted, “You two?” You woke up, and looked at him. “We reached the end.” The bus driver said. You looked at me and apologized, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I fell asleep on your shoulder and made you miss your station.” I raised my shoulders, and smiled, “And I’m not complaining about it.” You smiled.

We both got out of the bus. “So, who was she?” I asked you while we were walking. “She, who?” You asked surprisingly. “You can’t do this to me tonight. You just can’t. You were saying this angrily when you sat next to me.” You smiled, and said, “Yeah, I hate her. I mean, I don’t. I really love her, but I don’t get it. Why does she keep doing this to me?” I felt weird, for a moment. I mean of course after all these years there should be someone in your life. You looked at me and smiled mockingly without showing me. Then you continued saying, “She looks so pretty all the time, clean, beautiful. And really, really fancy, but still, she annoys me.” I felt so annoyed, and said, “Well, then break up with her.” “No, I can’t. We’ve been together for years. She’s my love life.” A disappointed look showed up on my face. Then you said, “You know, I’ve never seen you that jealous before.” “Me?! No. I’m not jealous. I’m just mad at her, like why would she do this to someone kind and nice like you?” “Right?! I don’t know. Tell her.” “Give me her phone number and I’ll talk to her.” “Who? My car?”

I stopped walking, and posed, then said, “Your car?” “Yes! She betrayed me, and cut me off, and made me take the bus, and ended up stopping at the end of the path that I seriously don’t know where.” I looked at you trying to understand. Then you got closer, and said, “But you know what? When I get back to her, I’ll kiss her, and thank her for cutting me off. Because she made me see the girl that I’ve been wishing to meet up again with, at every birthday party, for 12 years.” I smiled so hard. And understood everything. “You were the first girl to bring up butterflies, fluttering in my stomach. And I’ve never had this feeling again. And tonight I felt it, the same way I felt it 12 years ago.” You said. I looked at you smiling, and said, “If I told you that my heart has never beaten for anyone after you, would you believe me?” “You don’t have to tell me, because I already saw it in your eyes when you looked at me in the bus.” I smiled. “Can I hug you?” You asked me nicely. I smiled, closed my eyes tightly, and shook my head (Yes).

Pictures are taken from: Pinterest.
Pictures Credits: @rawadalzahabi/ @spoiledflick / @MEDIAWEBAPPS / @Cecelia Ahern / @4amtales / @fearless-man.tumblr / @therandomvibez / @lilacrainw / @shadows_and_darks / @dhembshuri / @unsaidfeelings.abhi / @MULTIFANDOMXTURKİYE / @TR_Quotes / @unknown.

For phantom nights “night three”, please visit this link Phantom Nights

Phantom Nights “Night One”

The picture is taken from: Pinterest. Credit: unknown.

I remember when I lost my points on my college year project. I was feeling so bad, leaving the lecture hall and my eyes were filled with tears, falling around my cheeks. I stood looking at the town, how high the buildings were, filled with lights. While the light cold breeze was touching my face softly. I was crying because I knew that this was a big hit on all my college final scores. Then I heard you from behind, getting closer. I wiped down my tears with my hands. You stood beside me, putting your hands inside your pockets and said, “This time you’re crying too! Is it also because of your parents who came and stayed for only half an hour to see you?”

I suddenly looked at you. Then you continued, without looking at me, “You know? Mine didn’t come to see me this time either!” I stared at you. You were wearing a black suit, with a white shirt, and a black tie. You were looking so elegant, like you were having a celebration or something. While I was wearing a black skirt and a red pullover. “The camp!” I said while looking at you. You finally looked at me and said, “We’re all kids, camp.” “Fourth grade?!” I said. “Fifth grade.” You continued. I immediately smiled and hugged you so hard. Your perfume smell was so beautiful. You half opened your mouth, surprised by my reaction, then hugged me so hard, saying, “You didn’t forget!”

“I never did.” I said and my eyes were teary. You smiled, and felt so warm when I said that. Then I said, “I tried to call you after I left the camp on the number that you gave me. But they told me that it was the wrong number!” “Because it was the wrong number.” You said while hugging me. Then you continued, “I messed up while writing the number, and put number 0 instead of 9. We both laughed. Then we looked at each other, my eyes were so red. “You didn’t change at all. Maybe the little cute girl grew up and became cuter!” You said. I smiled, then said, “You were tall, but you became taller.” You smiled and said, “Should I take that as a compliment?” “Tall guys are always handsome, so I guess you can.” I said. You smiled. Your smile was so cute. Then you said, “I’ll grab you some coffee, to make you feel better.” I smiled with my red puffy eyes, shaking my head (Yes).

Few minutes later, I was carrying the coffee cup in my both hands, sitting on the rock, looking at the town from up. You were looking at me, then you said, “I’m sorry.” I looked at you, asking, “For what?” “For not calling you all these years long.” You answered. “Even if you called, we were kids, and we would’ve never stayed talking till now after I left the camp.” I said. We stayed looking at the town for a while. Then I looked at you and asked, “What did you mean when you said that your parents didn’t come to see you this time too?” “Well, they both were busy with their own work today. And ended up not attending my graduation, which was today. And I told them about it a month ago. I spent the whole day long, hoping they would come for a few minutes at least, but no one showed up; exactly the same as that camp night, 12 years ago.”

You looked at me, and was about to cry. I didn’t know what to say. I remembered when we were kids in the camp, 12 years ago. That night everyone was dancing, while I was sitting on the chair, upset, looking at everyone dancing happily. I was so sad, because my parents came to see me for only half an hour. That night was the first night for me to meet you. You came to me asking why I was upset. I told you about my parents. Then you said, “Well, you’re lucky. At least they came for half an hour to see you, while mine didn’t even show up for a second.” You weren’t crying at all. You were sad, I felt you, but you weren’t showing anything. Instead, you grabbed my hand so we could dance with the other kids. I never forgot how nice and decent you were.

“Do you wanna dance?” I asked you after I stopped remembering. You looked at me surprisingly, saying, “Now? With the coffee cup?!” I stood up, then took your coffee cup from your hands, then played a song on my car’s radio. I pulled your arm, smiling, saying, “Come on!” You smiled. “Few seconds ago, you were crying. If you remember.” You said. “And you, 12 years ago, were feeling so bad, but you pulled my hand, and took me dancing to make me feel better.” You smiled in an emotional way and said, “You still remember everything with details.” “Can I tell you a secret? You were my only wish on every meteor passing through the sky.” You smiled then said, “And you were the only dream that I never wanted to wake up from.”

I don’t know where you are now, or what you are doing. I don’t know if you will be able to read this one day, or not. But all I hope is that you are fine, happy, and doing all your best in whatever major you have chosen. You probably are a graduate student by now. I don’t know if you are doing a Masters, Doctorate or not, but all I know is that I’m so grateful for meeting you. Thank you for the beautiful childhood memory that you left alive in my heart until now.

Pictures are taken from: Pinterest.
Pictures Credits: @OURGIRLONFIRE / @evaxchris / @Paul Nigam / @philophobiaa / @dhembshuri / @wetheflyest_ / @cocainevinyl / unknown.

Taken from a Turkish series called “Aşk 101” means “Love 101”

Taken from an American movie called “Titanic”

Taken from a French movie called “Pierrot Le Fou (1965)” means “Pierrot the madman (1965)”

Taken from an American movie called “A walk to remember”

Taken from an American movie called “The Notebook”

Taken from an American movie called “Crazy, Stupid, Love”

Taken from a movie called “It Happened One Night (1934)”

Taken from a French movie called “Le Petit Soldat (1963)” means “The Little Solider (1963)”

Taken from a movie called “They Drive By Night (1940)”

Taken from a movie called “The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer (1947)”

Taken from a movie called “Notorious (1946)”

Taken from a movie called “Only Angels Have Wings (1939)”

Taken from a movie called “People Will Talk (1951)”

Taken from a movie called “Charades (1963)”

Taken from a movie called “Breakfast At Tiffany’s (1961)”

Taken from a movie called “Grease (1978)”

Taken from a movie called “One Day”

Taken from a Turkish series called “İçerde” means “Insider”

Taken from an American movie series called “The Hunger Games”

For the rest of the photos; I unfortunately couldn’t figure out what movie they were. I’ll work on figuring out.

For phantom nights “night two”, please visit this link Phantom Nights