Hallucinations “Hallucination Four”

The picture is taken by me @roadygolden


Rain was sitting on the side of her bed, she was about to cry, but she closed her eyes, trying not to. Then she picked up her phone and opened the messages, and wrote, “Did you sleep yet?” to Cloud. Then she closed her phone and put it on her office table.

Few minutes later, her window got knocked, Rain smiled and moved the curtain. Cloud was standing looking at her with his cute eyes and smiled from behind the window. Rain smiled more, then opened the window. She stared at him for a few seconds and suddenly their both smiles disappeared then a tear fell down on Rain’s face.

Cloud got into her bedroom, looking at her with no words. “They made up their decision. I can’t go to it. It’s gone!” Rain said in a sad tone. “Rain. How did that happen?” She smiled, “It just happened. They decided and I’m doing what they want.” “Didn’t you talk to them, like, isn’t there another option?” Rain started laughing while crying, and said “No. They said don’t even think about it. It’s done, Cloud.”

Rain sat on her bed. Cloud was looking at her in shock. “You know what, for the first time in my entire life my heart and brain chose the same choice. For the first time in my life, I felt happy. I liked it. I liked everything about it. The city, the place, the people, everything, even my picture. For the first time in my life I prepared everything ahead of time. And I was ready to start even before a whole two months.”

Cloud sat next to Rain listening to her. She put both her hands beside her on the bed and continued, “When everything became ready, I said to myself, is that really happening? Am I really, for the first time in my life, going to start everything without rush, without stress, with a whole deep big smile covering my entire face? With a very satisfied heart? Am I really going to love the place that I’m going to for the first time in my life? Am I actually going to live in the city that I hoped to just look at when I was a kid? Am I actually making one of my dreams come true?”

Then Rain looked at Cloud with her puffy eyes, and her tears falling on her cheeks. Cloud was already looking at her feeling so sad. “I felt the meaning of happiness for the first time in my life, Cloud. When they gave me the ID, I can’t describe how happy I was, I was looking pretty in the picture! When I came back here from there, I looked at the bottle, the pen, the file, the lanyard, the stamps, the logo. Gosh, it hurts so much…” She stopped talking, looking up at the ceiling and burst out crying. “Hey, hey, you might have that chance, remember?” She moved her head (No). “Why not?” Cloud asked.

She wiped her tears. Looked up at her room’s ceiling, “It closed. I passed the deadline for it.” “What?” She moved her head (Yes) “If I did it before one month only, I could’ve been dancing from happiness right now.” “Rain!” Cloud said it in a hopeless tone. “I know. I’m the unluckiest person on earth.” “Shhh, don’t say this. Maybe it’s better this way. I don’t know. Maybe if you went there something bad would’ve happened to you! There are some things that are hidden in our destiny that we can’t see or even think of.” Rain looked at him.

“Look, if I was in your place, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I might have beaten someone, or broken something, or gone out and screamed with my loudest voice, or maybe drove my car so fast that I would end up unconscious in the hospital. I know it’s not easy and I can feel it.” Cloud said. “What hurts me is that I never wanted it from the beginning. But when I liked it, it started fading, going away. I lost it the same way I lost everything else. Cloud I’m tired of covering my bleeding wounds. I’m tired of collecting my broken pieces from every angle. I’m tired of building new dreams and seeing them crashing once and twice.” She closed her eyes in pain.

“I don’t know what to say to bring you back your smile, no matter how hard I try, I won’t be able to relieve your pain. But I’m here, and ready to listen to you till the morning. Till tomorrow, or till the day you decide. I’ll do my best to make you feel better, Rain.” Cloud said. Rain looked at him for a while then asked, “Can you stroke my hair?” Cloud looked at her and smiled, putting his hand on his lap like calling her to approach. Then Rain laid down and said, “Can you stay next to me until I fall asleep. Then leave. I just need you so much right now.” “I will never leave until I make sure that you are in a very deep sleep.” She smiled while her eyes closed. Then he whispered into her ear, “See me in your dreams.” Then he smiled and continued stroking her hair.

To be continued…

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