Painful Moments "Moment Four"

The picture is taken from: Pinterest; Credit: @lilacrainw.

In the fifth month of 2018, I was standing in front of the mirror, seeing myself so beautiful. It was my graduation. I was so happy, so excited and I was feeling like I was flying. Maybe that was the first day to taste the actual meaning of happiness. I stepped into the elevator and started taking selfies, smiling deeply. That night was so beautiful. It wasn’t just a beautiful night, it was the most beautiful night of my life.

Day after day, I kept looking at the graduation’s videos pictures, smiling. But, her absence took so long, and I really started to miss her. She never left my mind, not even for a moment. I kept asking and they kept telling me she was fine. I never insisted, because I trusted them, I was sure that no one would lie to me.

And that day, I saw her in my dream walking inside the room, looking at me from afar, telling me that she missed me, why am I not coming to visit her? I woke up from my dream, feeling so worried about her. I texted my best friend and told him about the dream, and he told me to ask them about her. This is the only way I could know how she was doing.

And on the night of that day, “Can you tell me the truth? How is she?” “She’s fine.” “Okay, if she’s fine, why is she not with us then?” No one answered. “What is going on, is she okay? Why are you both like this?” My eyes started filling up with tears. “Because she’s taking medications there, and she’s feeding on a serum.” I raised my eyes and said,” Take me to her, I want to see her.” “We can’t.” “Why?” “We just can’t.” “Why can’t you? Can you stop lying to me? What happened to her? Did something bad happen to her?”

“Why do you think we are lying to you?” “Because she came to my dreams and told me that she misses me and that I’m not coming to visit her.” They both didn’t say a word. I shouted, “Can you tell me the truth? Did something bad happen to her? Did she die?” No one said a word. I screamed while crying, “Did she die?” “She died, yes she died. She died four days before your graduation. What are you going to do now?” I screamed, “No, no my Allah, no. Not her. Please, not her.”

I went back to my room screaming and shut the door behind me. They ran behind me and I screamed, “Leave me alone.” “Why are you doing all of this? You didn’t even do a part of it when he died a few months ago.” I looked at her in pain and said, “Leave me alone.” They kept talking, I don’t remember anything from their words. I just laid down on my bed and hugged my pillow and shouted out loud with my mouth on the pillow, “Close the door, and leave me alone.”

She died four days before my graduation and no one told me until I fought with them by the end of that month.