Painful Moments "Moment Two"

The picture is taken from: Pinterest; Credit: unknown.

In the year of 2016, I was standing on the balcony, looking straight at the sea and down at the trees. The cool breeze reminded me of my childhood. My childhood in which my concern was simple. When my sadness disappears as soon as I wake up the next day. My problem ends as soon as I finish my exam, and my pain just goes away with a piece of chocolate.

I know what I did that day wasn’t right. But in the end I had no one but them. I thought that they would hold my hand whenever I would ask them to, I thought they would be the support that I will need when I fall apart. That’s why I said to myself that I wouldn’t get back broken. They will be the only people that will solve my problem. On that day, I had to act older than my age, I wasn’t supposed to, but I did. because if I didn’t I would lose the people I love while I’m watching without doing a thing.

I remember how the line was closed in my face for the very first time in my life when I went to the one I loved the most asking him for help. The pain I experienced that day was much greater than my age. I was too young to take all this pain. I remember that since that day something in me has changed. Something of my childhood’s innocence had been removed.

Day after day, they called, I thought they were asking about how we were, I told them the truth to make them know what they did. And because I was a fool, I thought this would make them regret, or feel sorry, or maybe apologize, but that was my second time to get my hopes up for someone and that one smashes them to the very bottom.

The call on that night wasn’t for knowing how we were, but for giving the order and we were required to implement it without arguing. I don’t know how I was able to do it, but I did. “No. We’re not going to do what you are asking us to.” “Is this your last word?” I took a deep breath, and said, “Yes. That’s my last word. I’m here and I will stay here; we all will stay here, and no one will force us to do anything we don’t want.”

“Okay, if that’s what you want.” “Yes.” “Bye then.” “Bye.” I closed the phone and a tear went down my cheek. And then she came, “Did they close?” I shook my head in the meaning of yes, crying. Then she approached me and hugged me. “We don’t need them, we don’t need anyone. Allah will never leave us.”

I remember that, that night my love for them started fading, day after day.